Hello Long Gone

Hello Hyde,



 It's been approximately a year (or more) since I've written anything in this blog and opening it (and seeing my girls sparkly theme and title "Spilled Diamonds"??!) just brings back so much memories and I'm having a pretty tough time swallowing the fact that everything and everyone has changed. And though their bodies and names are the same, they're almost a completely new person, it's both beautiful and tragic. Beautiful because it only goes to show that people do change even little by little and things can change and people grow. And a bit depressing because all we have left of those people are memories, all we're left with are their shells, but it shouldn't be that tragic since we'll always have a part of them in us. But feelings are inevitable and it feels like a huge gap in middle of my chest.



 Ever since summer, so much has changed. And I know I left this blog for a reason but I guess this time I don't really mind because I won't be posting anything personal (in detail) so yeah. Fourth year, the year of complete rebelliousness and revolution. All about "young blood" and spilling a bit of it here and there. Escaping, midnight-morning drives, getting high, getting drunk, going to parties, hotbox road trips,making out. Pure shit man. Lol I'm kidding, I only meant escaping and midnight-morning drives.

But so far, the fourth year in high school has been the most corrupted? Perhaps it's turning out to be one of the best though. But not totally wholesome because I feel like I'm only falling for the thrill of it all and the feeling of adolescent freedom. We're going to graduate in a while, and I don't think I'll be able to let go of high school so soon at all.

The same way today, I didn't get to see any of my best friends and I went home early but I went out again to eat and ended up at the rooftop and then Mcdonald's and then home. And I couldn't explain why I was out there, I just felt like something was missing and I didn't know where to find it. And maybe I'll feel that way too after a heart break or graduation. I'm completely terrified.


xoxo
Valerie